Prim Disease

I’ve been having it bad lately. I can’t see a car on the street without at least considering for a moment how to cut, shape, bend and otherwise torture prims to make a Second Life representation of it. I call it prim disease. Take for example this ugly, rusty Fiat 126, parked on a street corner in Cosenza.

(The Fiat 126 was produced in Italy and a host of Communist countries. It is all of three meters long, 1.30 meters wide and about that high as well. It’s noisy two cylinder engine can still be heard everywhere on Italian streets. The thing gained popularity in Communist Poland as locally produced Polski Fiat. But I digress.)

I already see, in this picture, that the sides would have to be path cut, hollowed out cylinders, and the hood as well. The front windshield would also be made like that, slightly tapered towards the roof. Connecting it all would be path cut spheres on the corners. But to make it really look good, I’d have to cross the prim limit of 31 per vehicle - including driver and passengers; they each count for one prim. Or enter the world of the sculpty, for which I really have no time.

But suppose I would give it a try - I’d love to be the one in a rattling, rusty 126 between all the invariably posh cars churned out by the rest of the SL car industry anyway. I’d go to Google Advanced Image Search and get a load of pictures of the thing from different angles. Bust most of all I’d look for a line drawing to upload into SL and stick on a prim, which I then upscale until the drawing is life size (and you’ll be surprised how many things start looking decidedly small when you make them true to life size in SL).

With that prim as my backdrop (some use it as the floor) I start the path-cutting, the twisting, the tapering and the shaping. And when all of that is done it’s time for texturing. And the important thing for textures is to never use one monotonous colour. Add some dirt, some light smearing, anything to liven it up a bit. And use a block texture - I use ten by ten numbered blocks, each in itself divided into ten by ten pixels. You apply it to your vehicle and make screenshots from every angle. Then you take your block texture into Photoshop - now you can see exactly where the elements of your final texture need to go, and how the texture gets distorted on the surface of your prim.

With a car like this I’d use a combination of pictures and Photoshop-generated elements. Just using pictures gives weird effects with the shading and makes your work look like a box with pictures stuck on it. And I use a texture for every part of the car - combining textures with SL-generated colour picker surfaces really looks quite awful.

But I digress again - the problem with prim disease is that it won’t stop and pretty soon you’ll have a head full of ideas and no time to work them out. Welcome to my world…

(Picture taken by myself; line drawing sourced from Car Blueprints.)

(SL and Second Life are trademarks of Linden Research, Inc.)

Call Support

Really, let’s not go hating noobies now. But a little lighthearted fun doesn’t hurt noone. With thanks to the incomparable Erykah Badu.

/me is not worthy, not by a long shot.

Call Support

I get tired of yo shit
You don’t never give me nothing
See every time you come around
Ya askin for sex, jobs, dough and support

See why can’t we be by ourselves some time
See I’ve been having this on my mind for a long time
I just want you to leave us in peace
Like it used to be, noobie
Cuz you don’t know how to act
So matter of fact
I think you better call Support (call up)
And tell them come on
help you sort yo shit (come on, come on, come on)
You need to call support (call up)
tell them I left you alone

Now every time I ask you ‘cover up yo ass’
You say ‘no’ but turn right around and ask me for some cash
Whoa, hold up, listen partner, don’t you have a clue
all that freebie junk is good ’nuff for you
you know it’s true, noobie

Every time we go somewhere
I run into some noobie smurf
Who needs some help with his second life
They never even bother to search!
They don’t never have to think
Don’t have no class
Behavin like an ass turnin things into a mess
It’s like a zoo I’ma tell you the truth
show some groove or get the boot

I think you better … (call up)
And tell them come on help you sort your shit (come on, come on, come on)
You need to call Support (call up!)
Hold on - But you may as well abort

Shivers

These weeks, the electricity company Enel presents a TV ad with the motto l’energia che ti ascolta - energy which listens to you. One of the two or three similar clips has sent a shiver down my spine, the first time I watched it. Not because of the choice of music - I think it’s rather outrageous to use the Velvet Underground’s beautiful Sunday Morning with it’s sombre overtones in an ad - but because of the little girl appearing seven seconds after the start. You may or you may not agree with me, but to me she looks a lot like my avatar. Just compare this screenshot with the banner above my blog:

Suddenly Sunday Morning gets a whole new meaning. Watch out, the world’s behind you…

You can watch the full clip on YouTube.

Also on YouTube, the full Velvet Underground song.

ps - Ignore the WordPress idiocy of “possibly related posts”. It’s a load of crap, I didn’t ask for it, it doesn’t work and there seems to be no way to switch it off. Windows98 revisited…

Sing Along With Tish

Here’s a song dedicated to my fellow mentors, especially those who have chosen to admit that they are totally and utterly mental. With thanks to my homie Coolio, here’s Griefers’ Paradise. Let’s make some noooooise!!!!

[instrumental version here]
[normal version here]

As I walk through the sandbox with the cages of death
I take a look at my life and realize there’s nothing left
Cause I’ve been sendin ARs for so long that
Even the Lindens think that my mind is gone

But I ain’t never crossed a griefer that didn’t deserve it
We be treated like a punk, you know that’s unheard of
You better watch how you talkin and where you walkin
Or you and your homies might be off the grid

I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc
As they croak I see myself in the particle smoke, fool
I’m the kinda mentor little noobies wanna be like
On patrol in the night
Spoilin’ fo’ a little street fight

been spending most our lives
Living in a Griefers’ Paradise
been spending most our lives
Living in a Griefers’ Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Griefers’ Paradise
keep spending most our lives
Living in a Griefers’ Paradise

Look at the situation they got me facin
I can’t live a normal life, I was rezzed like a box
So I gotta be down with the V-team
Too much mental mentor talkin’ got me chasin dreams

I’m a educated fool, with griefers on my mind
Got my Glock in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I’m a loced-out mentor, grief-bustin banger
And my homies is down, so don’t arouse my anger, fool

Crashin ain’t nothing but a heartbeat away
I’m livin life do-or-die, what can I say?
I got ‘em down now but will they come back fo’ mo’?
The way things is goin I don’t know

Tell me why are we so blind to see
That noone gives a shit ‘bout you or me

been spending most their lives…

PN and the /b/tards, /b/tards and the PN
Goatse or those turtles, Ya don’t know what ya seein’
Everybody’s running, but half of them ain’t lookin
What’s goin on in the kitchen, but we all know what’s cookin

They say they back me up but nobody’s got the power
They went open source and now there’s griefin ev’ry hour
So back me up? I guess they can’t
I guess they front that’s why I know my life is out of luck, fool

been spending most their lives…

Tell me why are we so blind to see
That noone gives a shit ‘bout you or me